Bring Me Back to Life
by The Winter Wizard
Summary: While wandering Hogwarts, Harry Potter stumbles upon the unthinkable nearly making him want to die. Then he bumps into Hermione who might be the only one capable of returning his sanity. Can she? Does she even want to? AU/RonXGinny/Bashing/HarryXHermione
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own neither the Harry Potter Saga nor the films, and I am not responsible nor liable for any – and I repeat ANY – loss of life, recently eaten meals, sanity, or anything else for that manner. Read this satirical but serious piece of fanfiction at your own risk!

**Author's Note:** I haven't read the Harry Potter books in a while due to being caught up in HP fanfiction, so I apologise if I got some of the details and info wrong. This is not meant to be a heavy-duty, hardcore story though. It is just for fun and meant to cast humour on the frequently done, overly-used, and utterly cliché character-bashing (mainly in the way of Ron and Ginny Weasley) so often incorporated into the HarryXHermione romance genre.

Now don't get me wrong! Just to make it clear, I adore HarryXHermione stories that are well done and enjoyable. However, I have come to detest character bashing since it is so old and over-used that it just gets really cliché and makes me cringe. Not to mention that (most of the time) it is taken out of control and extremely out-of-character no matter what theories the author uses to back up his or her claim.

That being said, this fanfic is mainly to make fun of said character-bashing while including a (hopefully) tasteful dose of HarryXHermione. Of course I am not blind and realise this has most likely, if not definitely, been done before so I place no claim on the idea. Also, it is just a one-shot – for now at least – and should not drag on too long. But enough said! I don't mean to ramble, so I should probably end this A/N here and now before I write a whole novel's worth of an Announcement as I am prone to do sometimes.

So without any further ado, I present you with my latest piece of fanfiction!

P.S. Just to clear some stuff up, I haven't read the books in AGES so this is set roughly in Book Six – Is that _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?_ – do excuse the ignorance. There is no definite time but it is sometime after Harry kisses Ginny and is not canon compliant.

And just to warn you, there will be incest but I do not condone that and it disgusts me. This is just to make fun of the whole shebang and for satirical purposes. And yes, it is HarryXHermione. I am not sure if there will be smut but be prepared for just about anything (save slash in this one) since the chapter usually writes itself. Enjoy! (hopefully)

X~X~X~X~X

Harry Potter strolled through the now empty halls of Hogwarts beneath his Invisibility Cloak. He was sweating like mad and all his hands trembled something fierce.

"Why?" You ask?

Simple, or perhaps not so.

The answer was that he had just kissed Ginerva (aka Ginny) Weasley. They had just won a Quidditch Match (Last **A/N:** Did I get that right?) returning him back to the good graces of House Gryffindor.

He didn't know about the rest of the school, but personally he didn't care. He was used to their hostile and doubt-filled stairs by now as something popped up every year tainting his dignity and making people wonder if he was not the Dark Lord Reincarnate.

But that was the farthest thing from his mind right now. Now, his mind was still trying to recover from his heavy make-out session with Ginny. The young redhead had been his first ever but he was starting to doubt the wisdom of his choice.

During the party that followed the Quidditch Match, he had suddenly kissed Ginny for no reason whatsoever. True he had seen her kiss her ex-boyfriend from time to time and that had finally awakened his raging teenaged hormones as much as he was embarrassed to admit it, even himself.

He had then (with Ron's vague permission by means of a nod of his head) ran off with Ginny to the nearest broom closet where she proceeded to snog him senseless. Then she proceeded to get naked and rip his clothes off subsequently.

And she _literally_ tore his clothes apart in an almost demonic manner. Her lips were curled into a feral-like grin and her eyes were blazing with...something. He supposed it was meant to be passion but it looked more like lust, or anger.

Whatever the case, she went on to shag him crudely and Harry wondered faintly then what Dean Thompson (and the other poor boys she seduced) saw in her, for she made love with an almost animalistic feeling. She was very fierce in bed (or should he say the broom closet) and forced him to stay bellow her while she took control of things.

It's not like he was sexist or anything, but he kind of wished he had been on top for his first time ever. There was nearly a demonic glint in her eyes as she climaxed and he wondered if she really was human from all the scratches and slaps he got in the process. Needless to say, he was having a slightly hard time walking – at least, at first.

So it was that he had been unable to sleep and had slipped on his Invisibility Cloak to get some fresh air. He was just about to ghost out of the castle and into the open air outside when he heard a faint whisper. At first he thought it was nothing and walked on. But then his sixth sense reprimanded him and he gave in reluctantly, backtracking as quietly as a mouse.

Straining his ears and craning his neck to the direction of the voice, he was surprised to hear hushed voices seeming to argue back and forth. At first it sounded like rubbish but when he focussed he was momentarily stunned to see a broom closet very similar to the one he had just been in. Oh, it wasn't the same one but nearly so. His heart pounding wildly in his chest, he padded forward slowly and listened in.

His mind reeled in shock.

It was Ron and Ginny Weasley, in the broom closet! At first, he did not know what to think and was frozen in disbelief. But then he listen closely, struggling to subdue the bile that rose up to his throat threatening to dislodge itself all over him.

"Please, Ronny, I told you a hundred times, dear," Ginny's voice cooed sickeningly making Harry want to barf.

Ronny?

That was almost worse than Lavender Brown's Won-Won!

Shaking his head in disgust, he struggled to listen to the conversation. It was a very hard thing to do considering the circumstances.

"But you do!" Ron's voice choked out in dismay. "It's written all over your face. You love that prat!"

_Slap!_

Harry winced.

"Ronald Weasley!" Ginny shrieked sounding the utmost like her mother. "How dare you say that I love that little tyke? I'm in love with you, you thick-headed dimwit!"

"Really?" Ron asked hopefully, making Harry's throat constrict.

"What do you think I have been trying to tell you for the past hour, dolt?" Ginny scolded.

"But you...you...you _kissed_ him!" Ron sputtered in obvious revulsion making Harry want to lash out in fury.

How could Ron do this to him? That sick bastard!

"My dear little, Ronny," Ginny laughed. "Are you jealous?"

Silence.

Harry could picture Ron hang his head in shame, his cheeks as red as his hair. It made him sick!

"Oh, Ronny," Ginny sighed. "I only kissed him to further my reputation as his girlfriend. It was all a lie, Ronny-dear. I only made it seem like I was infatuated with him to cover up our relationship. And trust me, love, you are a much better lover than he is. Why, you should see the size of his thing!"

Harry choked in surprise and shock at the blatant statement, his head spinning with thoughts of disbelief, anger, and disgust all melded in one. How could Ginny do this to him? After all he had been through? After all he had done for her?

It took all of his self-restraint to not set the broom closet on fire. Those siblings were disgusting perverts. They were in love with each other! Harry could not believe it and the thought made him sick to the stomach. It almost made him want to be gay.

But of course, that thought alone was enough to make him wish an early death.

_Why couldn't you finish what you started, Voldermort?_ Harry thought desperately. _Then I would not have had to endure this torment!_

But if those words alone disgusted him, nothing could prepare him for the sound of lips smacking against...something, a body-part that Harry did not want to know about.

Too late! 

In a split second of hesitation, he threw all caution to the wind and emptied out his supper all over himself. Lucky for him, he had the Invisibility Cloak.

_Oh, no!_ Harry thought in sudden panic. _But it doesn't block sound and those freaks surely heard that._

Ignoring all common sense, he fled down the corridor. Turning back for a split second to see if he was detected, he caught sight of the cupboard door being opened and a very naked Ginny and Ron peering out. Satisfied that no one was there, they grinned smugly at each other and closed the cupboard doors while getting all entangled in each other's bodies.

_And to think I loved the bitch!_ Harry groaned, feeling horrified.

Thrown into a daze by the nightmare he had just witnessed, he wandered the halls listlessly wondering where he had gone wrong and what could be done to cleanse himself of that...disease...

Vaguely, a pretty female face with bushy brown hair and a warm, soothing smile swam in his head but he was too lost in his thoughts to place a name to it.

_Think, Harry, think!_ He chided himself, trying to take stock of things. _You need someone to talk to this about, you can't keep it bottled up inside you forever. Nor can you go on as how things were, it just wouldn't be right. Hells, it wouldn't even be humane or have any slim fraction of morale decency. What would your mother and father think of you now? Shagging a bitch who loved her brother? Wait a minute..._

Harry paused here as a thought hit him like a ton of bricks. His face paled and he almost vomited bile again. _Ginny looks like a spitting image of your mother! So many people told you about that as a compliment or was it a warning? Whatever the case, you ignored that and still had a crush on her. How could you be so bloody stupid?_

That thought alone made Harry want to die and it seemed like he would be lost forever in a never-ending whirlwind of darkness and despair, or maybe a black hole.

"Who's there?" A tearful voice demanded, sounding determined but afraid. "I said who's there?"

It took a moment for those words to register in Harry's befuddled brain, but he finally snapped out of his reverie. Giving himself a mental shake, he opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised to find himself in the library. He had thought it would be locked up now but that didn't seem to hinder his distraught self.

Glancing around to see who had called out to him, a wan smile illuminated his face to see none other than Hermione Jean Granger. His bushy-haired friend was standing up straight and tall, holding a big fat book like a weapon in front of a plush arm-chair.

But joy transformed to concern when he realised that fear and alarm was etched on her face. She had heavy bags under her eyes which were red and puffy as if she had been crying. Her hair was much more messy than usual and all here clothes looked like they were torn and dishevelled. The poor thing looked like a wreck!

Wanting to put her tense self at ease, he forced himself to remain calm and swiftly pulled off his Invisibility Cloak holding up his hands in mock surrender. He held back a grin as Hermione's expression flashed at a rapid pace from relief to joy to fury to suspicion. Heaving a resigned sigh, her shoulders sagged and she relaxed collapsing back into the arm-chair, her weapon-like book falling to the ground with a dull thud.

For a moment, neither teenager spoke and an awkward silence settled on them. It didn't help either that there was only a dim glow emanating from a rather peculiar-wrapped lantern at Hermione's side, casting eerie shadows on them making the atmosphere all the more eerie. Harry had suddenly spotted an intriguing pattern (possibly a numerical conspiracy that could lead to new magic) on the ceiling while Hermione gazed down intently at her feet, obviously finding them to be an interesting subject of contemplation. Basically, neither young person were too comfortable with the sudden appearance of the other.

Hermione, of course, was the first to break the silence.

"So," She said, her voice cracked and licking her parched lips. "What's your story?"

Harry struggled to find the words to say but found himself to be somehow intrigued by the innocent action of Hermione wetting her dry lips. It seemed almost erotic in a abstract sense, highly unlike Ginny who was by far more animalistic than seductive.

_Stop thinking about bloody sex!_ Harry's practical self screamed out at him. _You good-for-nothing freak! You're just like her!_

_Hells, no!_ Harry's teenaged self retorted vehemently. _I am far better than that awful bitch and would never even think of using Hermione in that way._

"Harry?" Hermione prompted softly with a look of worry in her eyes as if sensing his inward battle.

"Yeah?" Harry asked thickly, too caught up in his mental tirade to make sense of things.

"You're staring at me," Hermione blushed, and then added with a hand gesturing to his groin. "And your, err, thing is..."

Harry's eyes bulged and glanced down in horror at his cock only to find that it was rock hard, being triggered into action only recently at his wanton thoughts of his bookworm friend. His cheeks flaming red, he quickly covered the bulge in his pants and stumbled back a little in embarrassment.

"Uh, I, you see..." Harry stammered, now thoroughly confused.

Oh, why did things have to be so hard for the Chosen One?

Amongst rosy cheeks, Hermione's lips tilted upwards into a smirk and her eyes twinkled as she took joy in Harry's discomfort.

"Serves you right after all," She muttered, almost to herself.

"How do you mean?" Harry yelped.

Hermione's eyes widened but then hardened and a stern look took over her too-pretty-to-be-human face.

"You shagged Ginerva Weasley," Hermione spat out bitterly, feeling a sour taste on her tongue.

"It wasn't my fault!" Harry protested feebly, finding it very hard to think at all with his..._problem _down bellow.

"Sure, right," Hermione nodded, clearly not believing him.

"Look, Hermione," Harry blurted out, suddenly realising he simply had to tell the truth, even if it made her hate his guts for the rest of his life. "I saw something tonight, something that changed my views forever about Ron and Ginny."

Hermione arched a perfect eyebrow and crossed her legs looking like one of those teachers on Dudley's stupid TV Series.

_Blasted Muggles!_ Harry thought, but nodded to Hermione.

"After our...shag," Harry said with a grimace at the "S" word. "I wandered the halls trying to see where I stood with everything. I mean, you know Ginny. She's smart and pretty and popular, a real 'party girl'."

Hermione snorted in derision and rolled her eyes.

"Please listen," Harry pleaded, desperate to regain his sanity and redemption with his best friend. "While wandering Hogwarts, I accidentally came across a lone broom closet. And you'll never believe what I saw but I swear I'm telling the truth. I'll even do a Wizard's Oath with you if you want!"

"Go on," Hermione said curtly, with a regal incline of her head.

Harry didn't blame her.

"Ginny was comforting Ron," Harry said thickly, swallowing hard not to vomit. "And telling him that she didn't really love me and that it was all a lie. She claimed that she had made Hogwarts and the Wizarding World think that she was in love with me so that no one would realise the truth."

"And what's that?" Hermione retorted, but Harry saw a wariness in her eyes.

"That she was in love with Ron and he with her," Harry answered, doubling over in disgust.

Hermione paled drastically and she clenched her stomach as if fighting down to maintain her dignity also. She could tell that Harry wasn't lying. After all, Ginny had just kissed him and he was not one to do mean things just for fun. Ron had been their best friend since first year but had always a problem with jealousy.

He had even deserted Harry in his fourth year during the Triwizard Tournament showing his true colours. Now Hermione's suspicions were confirmed and she really knew he had been a prat all along, only being with Harry to become a part of the famous 'Golden Trio'. Hermione clenched her fists in disgust, and wanted to punch the living daylights out of the git but stopped herself when she saw the distraught look on Harry's face.

"What's wrong, Harry?" She asked softly, feeling an obligation to stand as if that might help her stomach settle.

"What's wrong?" Harry nearly gasped out. "I think I'm going gay, Hermione!"

Her mind reeling at the distress her friend was going through, Hermione peered closer and was stunned to see tears trickling down Harry's cheeks. Without giving it a second thought, Hermione threw her arms around Harry.

The poor boy had given up on girls before he had ever properly been with one. His first crush had ended up in flames and was a complete fiasco after he waited for two or three years. And now this. It was almost unthinkable!

"But Harry," Hermione whispered, rubbing his back soothingly and holding him tight as he wept bitterly. "Not all girls are perverts."

"I wish," Harry spat. "How can I believe that after all that I've gone through?"

A thought struck her mind and Hermione suddenly felt wobbly and uncertain. What if Harry hated her for doing it? What if he would turn his back on woman-kind and break his friendship with her because of that bitch's stupidity and twisted mentality? Still, it was worth a try. The bloke was practically begging on his hands and knees for a reason to believe her. It was all or nothing now. She had to show him that not all girls were bad.

"I can show you if you like," Hermione whispered.

"How?" Harry plead, and Hermione's heart went out to Harry at the earnest desperation in his voice.

He really was at the end of his rope and she was all that he had left! It was her duty as his best and only friend to help him pull through this. And, on second thoughts, it wasn't such a bad idea. In fact, it was one she had been fantasizing about since second year!

_Shut it, freak!_ Hermione's practical self screamed out. _Don't turn him against you to satisfy your own lusts. Besides, he's much too you anyways and he's your best friend. Would you jeopardize your relationship for this?_

_Pish-posh!_ Hermione's other half scoffed. _If Harry is really your friend, which he is, he will see that you are just trying to help him and might even change his mind. In fact, you do owe him your life for all the times he saved it. It would only be right after all. _

_Fine have it your way!_ Hermione's practical sense snapped. _But don't come running back to me in tears if you fail._

_Fine!_ Hermione's other half retorted.

"Hermione?" Harry asked worriedly, hoping he hadn't terrified her into silence. "Hermione, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Harry," Hermione said softly, turning Harry's face gently to meet hers. "But I know you aren't and I want to help you." 

"But how?" Harry pled. "There's nothing you can do! _Is_ there?"

"I could show you that not all girls are bad," Hermione said softly, biting her lip in trepidation. "I could show you how it is really supposed to be done and can Obliviate you so that you will not remember shagging Ginny or ever kissing her. But I would need your definite permission so that I have proof."

"But how would that work?" Harry asked doubtfully.

"Pensieve, silly," Hermione said gently with a smile to show she wasn't mocking him.

"Oh," Harry said with a sheepish grin. Then he cleared his throat and nodded. "Very well, here it goes. If you can help me truly, then I – Harry James Potter – give you my permission to do so whatever it takes, so mote it be! I trust you, Hermione. Please don't fail me."

The last part said in a whisper, Hermione's knees nearly buckled at how much faith Harry had in her. It was unthinkable! Just as she was about to cast the spell, she was momentarily surprised to feel Harry place a gentle finger on her lips. Confused, she tilted her head questioningly and waited for Harry to make up his mind.

"Actually," Harry said sadly. "I don't want you to do that, the spell I mean." He added quickly upon seeing Hermione's face fall slightly. Then he added cheekily. "But I _do_ want you to change my mind about going gay. Not that I was making any of this up, mind. I am still beside myself with agony and may very well go mad from the discovery. But if you can show me that it's worth it to stay with girls, then I will."

"Okay, Harry," Hermione said with a slow grin, a wave of relief washing over her.

Harry smiled weakly and Hermione sighed, putting her wand back down. She shuddered suddenly as Harry gently, almost curiously, brushed his finger across Hermione's lips.

"Should I?" Hermione asked. "Or are you quite content with that?"

"Huh?" Harry asked, stunned, then he pulled his hand back blushing furiously. "Oh, yes, of course. Err, I'm sorry, Hermione."

Hermione only smirked and shook her head.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Harry," Hermione chuckled. "In fact, you can do that all the time if you like."

"Really?" Harry gasped, his eyes parting in awe and wonder.

"Yes, Harry," Hermione said, licking her lips in the most tantalising fashion. "You can do more as well."

"Can I...can I kiss you?" Harry asked, cautiously.

"If you want, Harry," Hermione whispered, stepping closer to Harry and putting her arms around his waist.

"But only if you want to," Harry said quickly. "We are best friends after all and I wouldn't want to ruin that as Ron just did."

"Oh, Harry," Hermione sighed. "Sometimes you are too noble for your own good."

"I'll take that as a yes then," Harry said hopefully.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione simply leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the lips. It was slow and cautious first, the kiss of first time lovers since Ginny never liked kissing so much. She preferred to take control of things. But then teenaged hormones kicked in, and the two young people picked up the pace a little, their hands roaming each other's body in honest purity. When they finally pulled apart, they were gasping for breath with their faces bright red and their eyes ablaze with passion.

"That was...fantastic," Harry said, panting, staring at Hermione with a newfound respect. "You're amazing, you know that?"

Hermione blushed at the compliment and patted his bum in response making him jerk in surprise.

"Okay, that's it!" Harry growled in mock anger. "I'll get you for that."

"You can get a lot more," Hermione smirked. "But there's something I need to know."

"Yes?" Harry asked eagerly, wanting nothing more than to please Hermione.

"What happens now?" Hermione wanted to know. "Are we friends or..."

Harry broke her train of thought by kissing her passionately on the lips. When Hermione pulled back from him it was Harry's turn to smirk.

"I think that answers your question, with your permission of course," Harry replied.

"Hermione Jean Potter," Hermione mused thoughtfully, her eyes taking on a faraway look. Then they returned to Harry's with a light in them. "Yes, you have it, my permission that is. Have I ever told you that we were perfect for each other?"

"No," Harry said, feeling slightly guilty. "But that name does have a nice ring to it and I always wondered how your name initials would sound with a 'P'."

"Care to find out?" Hermione asked, slipping out of her robes enticingly.

"Definitely," Harry grinned.

And so it was that a very displeased Madam Pince found a very unclothed Harry and Hermione tangled together in the most unorthodox fashion in none other than the Restricted Area. How they got there was beyond the strict librarian but she couldn't resist a grin realising that they were finally a couple.

_It's about damn time too,_ The old woman thought and, respecting their need for privacy, padded softly out of the Restricted Area. _Leave it to Mrs. Granger to have her first in a library. _

Humming an old tune at the irony of the thought, she shook her head and grinned to herself suddenly feeling a hundred years younger. Not wanting anyone to disturb her secretly favourite library visitors, she cast a spell over the Restricted Area so that no one would be able to get in but that the new couple could get out.

Job done, she headed off to a no-doubt very distraught Professor McGonnal to put the Head of House at ease. However, she wondered just how relaxed she'd be to find out. Still, the two young people _would_ make a good couple and Madam Pince always loved romance novels. Heaving a blissful sigh, she closed the library doors gently behind herself.

_This will be a very interesting idea,_ She thought to herself. _Yes, it will be very interesting indeed!_

**The End...**

**...Or Is It?**

**A/N:** Well there you have it! Personally, I am not too pleased with the Madam Pince Ending but I couldn't find another way to end it happily and don't worry! Madam Pince is NOT a paedophile. She simply loves romance novels leading her to become a librarian (in my version of HP) and to her it's like a romance novel in real life which is a dream come true. So she's not a pervert or anything and is simply telling McGonnal where her students are since they are Gryffindors.

I also thought it was kind of a funny ending even though I may continue this depending on what kind of and how many reviews I get. If it's approved of and enjoyed, then I may write another chapter. I kind of want to leave it at this though since there are so many romance fics out there it all gets a little typical. Also, I will not tolerate flames and they WILL be used to roast marshmallows, mark my words! Well, that about sums up another long PM and brings this rather long one-shot.

I hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one, I'm sure I wrote this already.

**Author's Note:** I wasn't going to continue this for the longest time but a plot-bunny struck again, so I decided to hurry up and write it before I was overrun by rampant plot-bunnies. In light of that, this picks up pretty much after chapter two left off. It will contain Ron and Ginny-bashing but the other Weasleys and Dumledore (most probably) will be good. It's too early for me to decide about Snape right now but he and Draco will be portrayed how they were in canon.

**The Story So Far:** While wandering Hogwarts in a daze after kissing Ginny, he chanced upon her and Ronald Weasley in a Broom Closet indulging in disturbing *cough* incest *cough, cough*. Disgusted, Harry flees the scene and turns to Hermione who not only helps him to cope with the sickening sight but also becomes his girlfriend.

**Now:** Harry and Hermione figure out where they stand after a certain event that transpired between them the night before.

**Chapter 2:**

Harry awoke feeling slightly disoriented, but more refreshed and renewed than he had ever felt in months – no, make that years. His eyes fluttered open and he felt a soft, warm weight on his chest. Glancing down, he cracked a sleepy smile to see that it was none other than Hermione Jean Granger – his best friend turned girlfriend, or so he hoped.

Truth be told, he realised that they shared something much deeper than that. Even though she had been berating him about that mysterious book, he realised she was just trying to help him and her vibes would usually be right. He decided the book was something to look into and he wondered if Dumledore would know about it. But now he had more err, _pressing_ matters to attend to.

Speaking of which, he had woken up (much to his embarrassment) with a full-on boner. Could things get any worse? Actually, they could get a lot worse. He had just found out that Ron and his sister Ginny were in a relationship together, albeit a secret one, while they tried to fool the rest of the school into thinking that Ginny was in love with Harry and Ron was in love with Hermione. No wonder the latter two argued so much!

Harry shuddered at the thought.

But those disturbing memories soon vanished as he felt Hermione's soft and _naked_ body stir against him. Hermione groaned and squirmed as if trying to get comfortable, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Turn off the light," She murmured, her voice slurred slightly from sleep. "Too early."

Harry could only grin.

All thoughts of incestuous siblings, Hogwarts, inter-house rivalry, Voldermort, Death Eaters, manipulating old men, and prophecies of impending doom sped away from him at the amusing sight. He stored that moment away in his head for latter, because he would be dammed if he wasn't able to tease her about that – good-naturedly, of course. It was too good a chance to miss.

"Hermione," Harry said softly, his fingers tracing her cheek. "Wake up, Hermione."

Nothing.

Harry's lips twitched and an idea came to mind of something that would surely get his bushy-haired friend to wake up.

"Hermione," Harry said gently but a little louder. "Quick, get up! You'll be late for charms class."

Instantly, Hermione's gaze snapped open as if he had flipped a switch in her brain and she bolted upright only to bump into the bookshelf behind her. Harry winced, as he had momentarily forgotten about where they were and tried not to stair as Hermione let out a string of unbelievably-vulgar curse words.

"Who are you?" Harry gapped. "And where is my Hermione?"

"Your Hermione?" The witch in question asked with a faint smile.

Suddenly, her eyes widened as they fell on his bare chest and immediately went down south. Harry blushed furiously and looked away, realising she might just be very upset about what transpired between them last night. As if wanting to confirm her suspicions, she glanced down at her body and her cheeks pinked to see that she was also starkers and sweaty.

"You...me...we...uh..." Hermione stammered helplessly, her voice trailed off as she stared around her disbelievingly at the bookshelf.

"The Restricted Section of Hogwarts Library," Harry said softly, not daring to look Hermione in the eyes. "That's where we...um, you know."

"Loosed our virginity?" Hermione offered.

Harry swallowed hard and nodded. It didn't help that another part of him was hard too, _again_. When would it ever stop?

"Well, I never," Hermione breathed.

Curious, Harry glanced at her from the corner of her eyes and was surprised to see them shining and not angry.

"You mean you wanted your first time to happen in a _library_?" Harry gawked. "The Restricted Section, no less?"

Hermione blushed prettily and looked down, making Harry feel very cheeky for some reason. Not trusting herself to speak, Hermione only nodded.

"It's always been a fantasy of mine," She managed thickly.

"Wow," Harry grinned. "I have the best witch in the world."

"Do you?" Hermione asked imperiously, arching an eyebrow.

"Do I?" Harry returned with a hopeful smile so that she would know he was not being sarcastic.

Hermione smirked.

"Well that thing certainly seems to think so," She said purposefully, nodding downwards.

Harry blushed.

"Not like you're making it any easier," He mumbled.

"Come again?" Hermione asked, putting a hand to her ear as if not hearing him properly.

"I just might if you don't put any clothes on," Harry smirked, chuckling at his own joke.

Hermione glared in mock fury at him. Or was she really angry? To Harry's relief, her glare broke and was replaced by a weak grin.

"Do you want me to put my clothes on, Harry?" She asked softly, nibbling her lip in worry.

Immediately, Harry could tell that she was concerned he thought she was ugly. He just heaved a sigh and took Hermione's hands into his, caressing them with his thumbs.

"Hermione, Hermione," He murmured, staring at her hands. He could see her looking at him curiously but ignore her gaze. "You should know by now that you are the most beautiful girl in the school. I mean, if a world-famous Quidditch Star could ask you on a date during your fourth year I think that should say something."

Hermione blushed furiously and Harry grinned, looking up in her eyes.

"I've been a bit dull truth be told," Harry replied, making her look surprised. "Yes, I never saw you for what you were – my one and only true friend. Everyone else likes me when it suits them aside from a rare few like Neville who are loyal to me but too scared to act on it. I pretty much took you for granted and thought of you as just a friend. But I can see now that you are so much more. After all we've been through, you've always stuck by me and then some."

"But how can you say that?" Hermione stammered. "I've just been a snobby, know-it-all!"

"True," Harry nodded. "Then again better to have one person be smart in the 'Golden Trio' other than having us all stupid. We work as a team Hermione: You're the mind and I'm the magic. You might see yourself as a nobody but I see you as my best friend in the world and the only one I'd want to spend my life with, if you'll let me."

Hermione hesitated, looking at him piercingly as if trying to read his mind to decipher the truth. Finally, she gave in and her face brightened with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Harry," Hermione said. "For saying those things. I would have never dared to hope that you'd come around one day. Now that you have it seems almost surreal. I think I'll wake up one minute later and find out that this was all a dream and that I've married Ron and had two kids."

Harry laughed at the mental image.

"Hermione," He chuckled. "I don't think Ron has the brains to even figure _that_ part out."

"Harry!" Hermione cried, scandalized but he smirked inwardly to see a grin on her face. "You're right. Ginny would probably have to help him in that manner."

"Merlin, did I just corrupt you or something?" Harry gasped in mock surprise. "Who are you? And where is my Hermione?"

"She's sitting right in front of you," Hermione replied. "Or rather, on your lap."

Harry gulped as Hermione climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist.

"Uh, are you sure?" Harry stammered. "I mean, my friend downstairs isn't so chivalrous to ladies when he first wakes up. He likes to meet them head-on, really."

Hermione just chuckled at him, arching her back sensuously making Harry groan as she spooned against him.

"Hermione," Harry croaked. "I don't think I can last much longer. And we'll be late for class."

"Class can wait," Hermione said with a determined look in her eyes, making Harry gulp. "But I can't."

"Yes, Mistress," Harry joked making Hermione smirk at him.

_Blimey!_ He thought. _Since when did she get so awesome? No, she was always so awesome. I just never saw it._

"Take me, Harry," Hermione breathed. "I need you."

"Only for you, Hermione," Harry said earnestly.

"Prove it," Hermione grinned, leaning down for a kiss.

Their lips met and Harry entered Hermione, shuddering as he did so. Little did Madam Pince know that the Restricted Section would soon get a lot of midnight visits by a certain couple in an Invisibility Cloak!

**To Be Continued... {Hopefully}**

**A/N:** Well, there you have it! I realise that was kind of cheesy and awful cliché, but it was necessary for the next chapter and I did kind of like it. That's about all for now but do keep in mind that more is on the way. In the next chapter, Harry and Hermione attempt to reveal to the school what Ron and Ginny are really up to only to wind up with an unexpected dilemma. As much as I hate to beg, do leave a review so that I can make this story even better.

Many thanks in advance!


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